


For Whom the Dead Wait

by The_Disaster_Tiefling



Series: Crinktober [4]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Choices, Death, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Farewells, Friendship/Love, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Promises, Reunions, Team as Family, Temporary Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-15
Updated: 2019-02-15
Packaged: 2019-10-28 14:11:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,142
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17788880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Disaster_Tiefling/pseuds/The_Disaster_Tiefling
Summary: In the space between life and death, Caleb finds some people waiting for him, one painfully familiar. But when the living call, he has to make a choice.





	For Whom the Dead Wait

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt number 4: Death

    When Caleb opened his eyes, it was unexpected, although he wasn’t sure why. Just as he wasn’t sure how he had ended up on his back, lying on something soft, and staring up at a night sky unlike any he had seen before. He wasn’t sure how he had got here, but he had an unpleasant niggling suspicion that he wasn’t going to like the answer. He blinked and blinked again, as though that would change the sight above him, but nothing changed, although it seemed to him that the gold swirls passing over the ebony sky grew brighter, as though he had become more attuned to this place. Wherever it was, and he blinked again, realising for the first time that he had no idea what time it was, or which way was north, leaving him feeling disorientated and oddly bereft, and he frowned. _What the hell is going on?_

“I can practically hear your mind from here.” A familiar voice broke the silence, and Caleb went utterly still, his mouth dry. _It’s not possible,_ he reminded himself sternly, squashing the brief flicker of hope that had risen at the words. _It can’t be him._  His mind seemed determined to be contrary today though, because the voice – one that he had never thought that he would hear again, continued cheerfully as though oblivious to the conflicted emotions raging through the wizard’s chest. “Doesn’t it get tiring thinking that hard all the time?”

    Caleb didn’t remember moving, bolting upright, and distantly noting that his body felt strange. It was heavy, and it felt as though something was missing, but that paled in comparison to the colourful vision that met his eyes as he turned to the source of the voice. “M-Molly…?” His voice cracked and broke, as Mollymauk grinned and tilted his head to the side, looking just as smug as he had the night in the Pillow Trove when he had draped himself against the door in nothing more than the tapestry, giving a jaunty bow.

“The one and only.” He sounded so wonderfully like himself that Caleb couldn’t help but smile, and it was echoed in the Tiefling’s expression as he straightened and added more softly. “It’s been a while, Caleb.”

“Ja…” _A lifetime,_ Caleb thought, thinking back over how much had happened since that disastrous day on the road, his hands clenching as he glanced at Molly, searching for the evidence of what had been done that day. However, there was no trace of the wound that had stolen the Tiefling from them. Instead, he looked whole and healthy, and as vibrant as ever, and there was a swirl of suspicion in the back of Caleb’s mind that he hastily pushed away.

“But not long enough,” Molly added, an edge to his voice now as he scowled down at Caleb, hands on his hips as he demanded. “Honestly, what were you thinking?”

“Thinking?”

“You don’t remember?” Molly seemed derailed by the confusion in his voice, and Caleb frowned, the questions that had niggled at him when he had first woken up returning with a vengeance. _What have I forgotten?_

“Remember?” He echoed again, shaking his head, a chill creeping in as he realised that there was a haze over his memories, to the point where he wasn’t even sure what the last thing he remembered was. He had been with the others, he knew that much, remembering their voices, their warmth…and they had been…they had…he couldn’t remember, the answers dancing out of his reach too quickly for him to grasp. “I…”

“Not everyone can remember.” Another voice interjected, and this one Caleb knew that he didn’t know, but Molly seemed to recognise it, visibly brightening as he turned around just as there was a flurry of movement. Leaving Caleb with the impression of moving darkness, and shifting winds, before a pale-faced, half-elf came into view as he landed beside Molly, inky wings rustling behind him as the Tiefling turned to look at him.

“Vax?”

“You remember what happened to you this time because you saw it coming,” Vax’s voice was gentle as he looked at Molly, and Caleb saw the echo of pain and fear in Molly’s face before it was masked once more, and for a second he was transported to a different time. _Molly’s face twisted with pain and fear, masked by defiance as he glared up at the Oni looming over him._ He shook, the memory more vivid that it had been for months, and it took him a moment to focus on the fact that Vax had continued, let alone what he was saying. “When it’s sudden, or quick, the trauma can affect the individual’s memory.”

_Trauma?_

_Sudden…?_

     The niggling suspicion was growing, flooding his mind with a roaring sound and trembling now he glanced down at himself. However, he looked just like himself – a little less filthy than he had been the last time he had seen Molly thanks to Jester’s nagging, and a little healthier looking after months of proper food between their improved finances and Caduceus’s insistent care. There was nothing to support his suspicion, to mirror the Half-Elf’s words, or to be worthy of the worried gazes that he could now feel fixed on him, and yet there was a chill sweeping through him.

 A certainty that terrified him.

“I’m dead.” He had meant it as a question, but it came out flat, the certainty bleeding into the words, and he wasn’t sure how he felt when Molly visibly faltered, for once seemingly at a loss for words, while Vax looked sorrowful. As though he knew and understood the grief that came with that thought, and maybe he did, because he was here, along with Molly who had died in the worst way possible. _Waiting for me,_ he realised, feeling a pang of something that he wasn’t ready to name, as he remembered the guilt and grief that had followed Molly’s death, and trying not to imagine how the rest of the Nein felt right now. _Nott, I left Nott behind,_ that almost shattered his tenuous grip on his emotions, and he shook his head, as though that would scare the thought away before focusing on Molly once more.  “You were waiting for me?”

“I’m waiting for all of you,” Molly admitted with a shrug and a sideways glance at Vax.  “As brief as our time was, and as messed up as we were. For a time at least we were family, and besides, you have all taken care of Yasha for me. That alone means I will wait for all of you. I just thought that I would have a lot longer to wait.”

“I’m sorry…” Caleb began, not quite sure what he was apologising for, especially without the memory of how he had managed to get here, but he trailed off as he saw that Vax had gone still, head tilted as though he was listening to something, although as far Caleb could hear there was nothing beyond them. So, he was caught by surprise when Vax turned back to look at him, dark eyes intense, at odds with the soft smile playing on his lips.

“They’re calling for you.”             

“They…?” Caleb trailed off, question unfinished, as now he could hear it too. It sounded halfway between a whisper and a song, almost like Celestial he thought numbly, as the sound swelled around them, brushing against him, and leaving warmth in its wake. He couldn’t quite make out the words, but he realised that he recognised threads of voices amongst the noise, and he closed his eyes as he realised that loudest was Nott’s voice, raised in a way that he had hoped to never hear again. “They’re calling for me…” The enormity of what was happening was slower to sink in, even as he felt the whispers tugging at something deep in himself, calling him back he realised belatedly, and his eyes widened, as his mind kicked into gear and he remembered the precious pouch of diamonds that Jester kept with her at all times. _Oh…_

 

 “Did you still doubt them?” Molly was there, watching him with a smile, and Caleb’s breath caught as he realised that there was no bitterness there. Instead, while there was sorrow in the smile, he looked almost relieved as he tilted his head, the whispers teetering on the edge of words now.

“No,” Caleb murmured, remembering another time, and a certain blue-robed monk – so different from Molly, and yet so similar in many ways – asking him to believe in them. That had been months ago, and while he had meant it when he told her that he did, there had still been a lingering doubt, a fear he hadn’t been able to put into words. That was gone now, and yet still there was a part of him – the part born in scarred arms, and devouring flames, that still needed to doubt.  “But…”

“You didn’t expect them to go this far? To call you back, to spend that chance.” Molly knew it was there in the gleaming crimson eyes, and the soft, knowing expression that had appeared, and Caleb had to look away. Unable to deny it, but too…ashamed, maybe, to put it into words. He was surprised a moment later when his eyes were filled with vivid colours, as Molly came to a halt in front of them, and there was a pause. A hesitation, and then there were lips against his forehead, the gentle kiss tugging him back into the present and focusing his mind, just as they had that day in the mines when the darkness had claimed his thoughts. It was less jarring this time, but somehow rawer, and his eyes stung as he lifted his head to meet Molly’s gaze once more. “You should listen to them Caleb, they…”

“Mollymauk,” Vax had approached while they were distracted, and he reached out to rest a hand on Molly’s shoulder as he added warningly. “This must be his decision.” The dark wings behind him seemed to flare, as though to add force to his words, although there was understanding in his expression as he glanced between them.

“I know,” Molly replied with a sigh, before adding pleadingly. “One moment?” For a moment Caleb thought the request was going to be refused, and he wondered who this Vax was that Molly who had always been reluctant to bow to authority, seemed ready to listen to. He was half-tempted to ask, but the whispers were distracting him, and there was something that told him that he was better not knowing the answer for once, as dark eyes studied him for a moment before Vax bowed his head.

“Just one, because he needs to hear their voices and decide his path,” he agreed quietly, before focusing on Caleb once more, and suddenly the wizard felt he was under the gaze of something much greater, power and age seeming to radiate from the half-Elf, and there was an echo of a woman’s voice as he continued. “Death isn’t something to be feared or avoided, however, sometimes it is not the right time. There is a path open to you now, but the choice is yours and yours alone.” Vax blinked, and the spell was broken as he seemed to shrink back into himself as he patted Molly on the shoulder, before retreating and giving them at least the illusion of privacy.

“I…”

“Caleb,” Molly cut him off with a shake of his head. “I hope that you will listen to them because you are still needed, today more than proved that although you might not remember it yet.”

“But…” Caleb tried to protest, but already the whispers around them were shifting, become words that seemed to gleam with visible light as they wrapped themselves around him.

_Caleb, if you can hear me, please come back. Protecting my family will mean nothing if you’re not there too…_

     Nott. Dear, brave Nott, who had forgiven him at every turn, even when she had been forced to realise that he wasn’t what she had believed him to be. Even when she had been confronted with the fact that his past had come into contact with hers in the worst ways, and his heart ached at the pain in her words, the anguish as she pleaded with him to come back.

 _Blood to blood Caleb,_ Fjord’s voice joined hers now, quiet but firm. The voice of the leader he had become in the months since Molly had died, but also something more…something closer, and there was a tugging deep inside Caleb now as he remembered the day beneath the ocean, when their blood had mingled, and they had made a promise between them. _I still have a promise to keep, and you need to be here, and alive for that to happen, so come back._

“See,” Molly laughed, jewellery tinkling softly as he glanced upwards and Caleb instinctively followed his gaze, startled to see the inky black of the sky was slowly being consumed by the swirling gold that seemed to be spreading in front of his very eyes. “You still have things to do, and people to be with.”

“But, you’re…”

“I’m okay Caleb,” Molly cut him off with a shake of his head before he tilted his head towards the distant figure of Vax. “I’m not alone here, and there is endless entertainment available even for someone like me.” There was amusement in the words and a gentle note of mocking before he turned solemn as he focused on Caleb once more. “You’re not abandoning me.”

“I…”

 _Oi, Caleb…_ It was Beau’s voice who broke through, interrupting what he had been about to say, and he faltered, unable to remember her ever sounding like that before. Not broken, but close, her voice cracking as she continued in a rush, as though she had to get the words out before she lost her nerve.    _Who’s going to keep me in check if you’re not here? Who’s going to walk away from me when I’m being a hardass? Who…?_  She trailed off, and Caleb’s eyes widened as he realised that her breath had hitched, as though a sob had been threatening to well up.

_This is all for me…_

    It seemed unbelievable to him. The weight of his past, the choices that he knew loomed ahead of him as they grew closer and stronger, the lies and half-truths that were still a large part of him, seeming heavier than ever as he listened to their pleas. _Why? Why are you doing this? Why do you all care so much…?_

     Thunder seemed to rumble through his mind, as though in response to those doubts, but he knew that it wasn’t as the noise faded away to be replaced by another familiar voice. This one was softer than the others and almost distant to anyone that didn’t know her. However, Caleb knew Yasha, and shared her love of the quietness and shared her awkwardness around large crowds, and he could hear the heaviness in her voice that spoke of grief and fear. And for a moment all he could see was her sad smile as she looked at the flowers he’d found when they were camping on their way to another job. _I know that he’s there with you now._ He blinked at her words, glancing at Molly who nodded, showing that he could hear this much, looking unsurprised that Yasha knew he was there. _I hope that seeing him will ease the guilt, that never lay with you anyway, but it’s time to come back. We’re not ready to collect flowers for you, and you are needed here._

“She’s right,” Molly was pulling back now, taking slow, deliberate steps backwards to put distance between them, shaking his head when Caleb made as though to follow, although he smiled to take the sting out of the action. “I took a chance. I rolled the dice, and they weren’t in my favour. What happened to me, wasn’t your fault, or anyone’s apart from Lorenzo and my own poor luck. Besides, you avenged me, which is more than I could ever have asked. So, please stop blaming yourself, and listen to the others for once.”

    As though she’d heard him, Jester’s voice broke through, louder and closer than the others, and Caleb closed his eyes as he heard the tears in her voice. He never liked knowing she was in pain and knowing that he was responsible made it a thousand times worse. _Hey, Caleb… I know that you can hear us,_ despite her words she sounded uncertain, for the first time in ages sounding as young and lost as they knew she was beneath the mischief and laughter. _How am I going to keep seeing the good in you if you’re not here for me to see? And who is going to share all the smutty books with me?_ The last bit was pure Jester, despite the sob in the middle of it, and he despite himself he smiled and shook his head, only to freeze as another voice echoed around him.

 _She needs you, more than she will say._ He didn’t recognise the voice, but it contained the same eerie, echoing quality that had accompanied Vax’s words before and he swallowed, as green seemed to dance behind his lids for a moment before it disappeared with a low whisper that was more threat than a plea. _Don’t hurt her…_

_The Traveller…_

    Caleb opened his eyes, realising that he had already made his decision even before he met Molly’s glittering gaze.

“Go,” Molly ordered imperiously.  “Enjoy the life that still lies ahead of you and stop living in the past and listen to Yasha.” There was a hint of sorrow and longing now, but not enough to dim his smile as he made a shooing gesture, unnecessary as now that Caleb had acknowledged what his choice, at least in his own mind, he could feel the pull of life that was beginning to pull him away.

“Will…” He hesitated because it seemed almost too selfish to ask, especially when he was leaving Molly alone in this place, even if he had said that he wasn’t lonely or bored. However, Molly seemed to understand anyway, just as he always had, as he nodded and added softly.

“I’ll be here, waiting when it is time for you to come. Now…” Molly’s voice faded away, replaced by another deeper voice that seemed to reverberate around Caleb, as the space around him disintegrated in a swirl of colours and Molly and Vax disappeared from view, although he sensed they were close and watching as he fell towards.

_Now, Mr Caleb, it’s time for you to come back to us._


End file.
